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Neighborly Love, Hate and the Crazy

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Neighborly Love, Hate and the Crazy


Most of us have them.

Some of them we depend on to feed our dogs while we’re out of town, others for that cup of sugar when we’re baking homemade cookies (stop laughing, husband).

We know some of our neighbors by name, others we wouldn’t recognize if we ran right into them on the street.

In the past decade, I’ve had my fair share of interesting neighbors.


Where to begin?

Love thy neighbor ...who wields a sword?

In our early dating years, my husband shared a duplex with someone that, if we’re being nice here, can only be described as a character. In the interest of privacy, and not getting anyone sued, let’s call him Crazy. One morning, as we were drinking our coffee, Crazy knocked on the front door wielding a sword in one hand and a golf club in the other, “Can one of you guys join me down under the deck? I think we may have rats?” My husband politely, and quickly, declined to go anywhere alone with a man wielding a sword and a golf club. But, we wished Crazy good luck and he was off on his strange little mission.

And then there was that neighbor that lived next door to our Montrose rental. She spent much of her time sitting on her porch, waiting for someone to park in the street, in front of her house. When someone dared, she would run out screaming and yelling at the top of her lungs. The best part? The next time she’d see you she was all smiles and would offer you a cookie. Ummm, thank you, but I politely decline your delicious, arsenic-laced, baked goods, lady. I am so onto you. One less neighbor = one less car.

On the other side of that very same house, we had a neighbor that made it his mission in life to wait for, and then to chase, the free news publication delivery truck. No matter what time of day that paper was thrown, he would come out of his house yelling obscenities, while chasing the truck down the block. That will show them for throwing free things in his lawn. Hmph!

Our current neighbors aren’t quite so colorful. One of them yells at my cat when he runs across their lawn. Another likes to garden. And, for the first time ever, a couple moved across the street from us that I actually want to hang out with. You know, instead of simply waving hello to as I drag my kid to the car in the morning.

What Would You Tell Your Neighbor?

Not everyone on my street sees things eye to eye, though. There was quite the sign war during election season. And, like a good neighbor, I documented it all.

But, much unlike the recent arrest of a Houston man caught poisoning the neighborhood dogs, all my neighbors, while quirky, have been completely harmless.

So, I would love to know, what about you?

Tell me about your neighbors.

Allison Zapata

Article Author:
Allison has written 8 articles for the Houston Real Estate Observer.
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Allison Zapata is a chronic lounger and can be found, most days, in pretend exercise clothes, blogging or wasting time on Twitter or Facebook. She loves music, animals, and ranch dressing. She holds a PhD in nothing, from nowhere, but still thinks someone should call her Doctor. You can keep up with Allison on the Curvy Girl Guide.

6 Responses to “Neighborly Love, Hate and the Crazy”

  1. Ewokmama says:

    Oh man, what timing you have!!! Our next door neighbor has been harassing our landlord because we recently got a dog who is thought to be a pit bull mix (mutt dog from shelter so we can only really guess). She says owning a pit bull is “child endangerment” and she plans to file a lawsuit by the end of the week. Our lawyer says it is unlikely anyone will take the case because it’s a frivolous lawsuit…and if they do we can counter-sue for harassment. Our landlords (who did approve the dog beforehand) have taken turns calling us and coming by and offering to buy us a new dog because they are afraid of a lawsuit. I hope they won’t actually give us notice to move out.

    All I know is that the lady next door is a raving shrew (to put it nicely). She said she wanted to buy the property so that she could evict us. Said “I didn’t buy a $3M house to live next door to a pit bull!” Refuses to actually meet the dog…feels no worry about the bigger, actually aggressive dogs who live upstairs from us because “they aren’t pit bull!”…um, what else…oh she has 27 lawyers in her family so she says it won’t cost her a dime to sue and she is going to call City Hall and the Mayor and everyone she can until we are forced to get rid of the dog. Lovely woman…

    Our dog doesn’t even bark or growl and runs from our cats. My son punched him in the face and he didn’t even seem to notice. I mean COME ON LADY.

  2. Bella says:

    When we lived in PA, my neighbor introduced herself. Then she introduced her bf by saying, Oh and this is my BF. He broke my leg, but we’re working it out.


  3. My wife and I have always had great neighbors. I have a military background and we have moved a few times. Every neighbor has always helped with everything possible. My current neighborhood has a bunch of stay at home moms that do coffee like 3 days out of the week.

  4. I’m curious if it’s okay to borrow some piece of this publication to use for my powerpoint project.


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